Parental alienation is a type of misconduct engaged in by parents that can cause emotional devastation for the parent who is not effectively permitted to maintain a healthy and happy relationship with their children. Instead of sharing custody gracefully, one parent turns their anger and disappointment with the other into a weapon that can hurt the entire family.
Parental alienation often involves one parent talking negatively about the other two or in front of the children in ways that are false, exaggerated or otherwise manipulative. When combined with a reduction in that adult’s access to the children, that negative communication can have major implications for the entire family.
The short-term consequences of parental alienation include frustration, anxiety and depression for the affected parent. Shifts in the emotional state and mental health of the affected children are common as well. The courts frequently intervene in cases involving parental alienation because of how such scenarios can damage children.
What are the most common potential long-term consequences of parental alienation?
Damaged self-esteem or self-perception
Children inevitably view themselves as similar to their parents. Therefore, one parent consistently bad-mouthing the other can lead to issues with a child’s sense of self-worth. Alienation can lead to children internalizing the most negative things that one parent says about the other. Having reduced contact with one of their parents can also lead to children feeling poorly about themselves.
Long-term mental health struggles
Research looking at the adulthood outcomes of children who experience parental alienation shows a concerning trend. More than half of the people studied reported depression and anxiety as adults after experiencing parental alienation during their formative years. One in five of the children, once grown, developed eating disorders and body image issues, which often began during adolescence. Approximately 40% reported mental health challenges including personality disorders.
Resentment and anger
Children denied important relationships due to the spitefulness of one parent may become resentful toward that parent in the future. In some cases, children end up effectively cut off from both of their parents because of alienation. The unhealthy dynamics established with their parents can trickle down into their friendships, other familial relationships and intimate relationships in the future.
Parents who have evidence of parental alienation can ask the family courts to intervene by enforcing or modifying an existing custody order. Preventing the alienation from worsening can limit the long-term harm one parent can cause to an entire family.